The Wicked Game (A Wicked Game Novel) Page 12

  But when she finally rolled out of the bed she found that it was empty, and upon further inspection she realized that her husband was already up and dressed, sitting in a chair waiting for her.

  He smiled softly. “I thought that I would join you today.”

  Angela was surprised. He had never joined her on her daily market trips. By the time she headed out, no matter how early it was, he was almost always already gone to attend to some chore within the town. She usually didn’t see him again until lunch and sometimes not even until supper. But today, here he was in the room with her, waiting to go to the market.

  “But don’t you have work to do today?”

  “It can wait. Right now I want to be with you.”

  A chill ran down Angela’s spine. Something about him was different today but she couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was. Perhaps it was what she had done last night? She laughed silently. She sure hoped so!

  “Oh. Well alright. Let me dress and then we can leave.”

  She turned from him and walked across the room, a suspicious feeling pooling in her belly.

  ***

  The market was busy but not nearly as busy as it had been the day before. Apparently having departed all of the insights into life that they could, the gypsies had left and the market place had returned to normal.

  It was too bad. Angela would have liked to ask them about Mary or rather what she had thought was Mary.

  Andrew reached out and took hold of her hand. She shivered. Even now she still felt weak from his touch. Her knees buckled and she went lightheaded. She couldn’t help but smile at him and of course, he was smiling back.

  She had tried diligently to resist his advances and be intimate with him no more than necessary (she still was unsure how he felt about her but she knew how she felt about him and didn’t want to give him the wrong idea) but so far she had been unsuccessful, very unsuccessful. No matter how she tried, there was always something about him that got to her. Any small touch, a movement, just a glance even, and she was wound tight around his finger. She was his and that was all there was to it. And besides, Andrew was worldly enough to realize that physical intimacy did not necessarily mean love.

  Yes, that was how she reassured herself every time he seized her.

  In fact, that was exactly what she was doing right now.

  She could feel the blood rush softly to her cheeks and she lowered her head with shyness. Why did she let him do this to her? She shouldn’t! But she just couldn’t help herself; she just couldn’t control it!

  Damn! She walked past the baskets. But as she turned around to head back, she felt the strong arm of her husband grab hold of her and pull aside into a secluded alley. She landed against him with a jolt and they both nearly fell over.

  “Andrew! What are you doing?” She giggled and placed a kiss playfully on his cheek.

  He pulled her into him and ran his hand down her cheek. “I wanted to spend a few moments alone with you. I just can’t wait any longer…”

  “Andrew!” She lowered her voice to an intense whisper. “Andrew, we’re in an alley… in public!”

  He laughed. “You thought I meant… no, no! What I was thinking is much more innocent.”

  She was confused and her face showed that emotion.

  “Well if you don’t understand, then perhaps I’ll find another woman and…”

  “No, that won’t happen.” Her voice was sure and confident.

  “Oh? And how can you be so sure?” He stepped in closer to her and stared directly into her eyes.

  She surveyed the alley slowly and then locked her eyes with him. “Well, I’m the only woman here… aren’t I?”

  And at this moment his opportunity had arrived. He took hold of her hand and softly brushed his lips against her knuckles. Then he took her hand, carefully placed it over his heart and whispered tenderly, “You’re the only woman here,” and then, “I love you.”

  Angela’s heart fell out of her chest and her voice nearly fell out of her body all together. Breathlessly she managed only a few words.

  “I don’t love you. I hope—I know you understand.”

  And then before she knew what was happening, she was running; away from Andrew, away from her husband, away from love.

  I know you understand.

  Never had there been such a response to the words “I love you.” But it was the truth. They were so alike, her and Andrew, and if anyone could understand what she was feeling it was him. If anyone could understand her fear of love and her desperate grasp to hold onto her freedom it would be him.

  And he did understand, without her even having to explain, he understood it all.

  But he was angry and his heart was broken. God damn it all! His own wife had just rejected him! The woman he would spend the rest of his life with did not love him in return, but maybe one day she would; a lifetime might be long enough for her to lose her fears.

  …But a lifetime was also long enough for a broken heart to get stuck that way…

  ***

  She didn’t know that her legs could move this fast. She was speeding through the market more quickly than she ever thought possible but somehow it seemed as if everything was moving in slow motion. She looked back and her vision went blurry. She couldn’t tell if Andrew was still within her sight. She couldn’t tell what the expression on his face was, but she could guess.

  He just poured his heart out to her, revealed his deepest feelings. He loved her; God help her, he loved her! Most married women would kill for this but to Angela this was exactly the storyline of her worst dream. If her husband loved her he would only end up hurt.

  No, this could not be happening.

  She wanted to kick herself for being so foolish and selfish. She should have tried harder to make sure that his feelings for her would never grow. But she hadn’t. She had indulged in her own selfish fantasies, led him on, tantalized and teased him, knowing all the while that his feelings for her were growing deeper and deeper. She should have held back; they could have lived together forever in happiness just the way there were. But now it was too late. He had felt the feelings and said the words. They could never go back now and Angela did not know what to do.

  She slowed down her pace and looked around. She’d been running for so long that she was now in a part of town she had never been in. Where the hell was she?

  But before she had time to figure it out, a strong arm took hold of hers and pulled her into an alley…again.

  “Damn it Andrew! What now?”

  But when she looked at her assailant she realized it wasn’t her husband. She gasped and nearly fainted. It was the same beautiful blonde haired woman she had seen the day before; and it most definitely was Mary.

  Mary!

  “Mary! Oh my god! What—” but her sentence was truncated. The cousins and friends threw their arms around each other and embraced as tears poured down their faces.

  “What are you doing here? How did you find me?” Angela pulled away and let out a loud sob. “Why did your run from me? Why Mary? Why?”

  Angela’s voice sounded angry but at the same time she felt relief inside of her that she hadn’t felt for over a year.

  Mary took hold of her cousin and squeezed her tightly. “I couldn’t reveal myself to you in such a public place! It was hard enough to just get to this village without our family knowing! Your men, and Greg, had to—”

  “How?” was all Angela could say between the sobs, but knowing her cousin so well, Mary knew exactly the questions she was asking.

  “The cook.”

  “And how would the cook know where I was?”

  Mary raised her eyebrow, amused that her cousin would question her. “The kitchen maid of course!” And then she paused for dramatic effect. “A few months ago the cook sent after some exotic spices but they would only deliver them as far as Beldon. It seems your father’s home is too far into the country for their taste…Anyway, she was making her way through the market after colle
cting the parcels when she saw you… And of course she couldn’t keep her mouth shut…”

  “Yes, of course.” But Angela was mumbling because a thought just entered her head; a thought that hadn’t occurred to her during the excitement of seeing her beloved cousin.

  “Why now?”

  “Why now what?”

  “You said you’ve known where I was for several months. So why come and find me now?”

  Mary lowered her head slightly. “Oh.”

  “Mary?” Angela raised her voice. “Is something wrong? What happened?”

  “Nothing is wrong… exactly.” She paused and then began tentatively. “Well nothing is wrong with our family.”

  “What do you mean? And whose family…Andrew? His family?”

  “Well not his family…exactly.”

  “Oh just spit it out!”

  “It is something to do with the Dillards, but I must talk to both of you together.”

  Now it was Angela’s turn to say, “Oh.”

  Mary raised an eyebrow. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  Angela sighed. “Oh nothing. We just had a bit of a fight, that’s all…”

  “Oh? And what about?”

  “Nothing important.”

  But Mary could tell she was lying.

  “Angela Bennett…excuse me, Angela Wilson is it now? You have never been able to keep a secret from me in your life! What makes you think you can start now? Just because I haven’t seen you in a year does not mean I’ve forgotten anything about you…”

  Angela knew she had been beaten.

  “He told me he loves me.”

  Mary grasped her cousin by both arms.

  “He loves you?!? And how exactly does that cause a fight?”

  Angela didn’t answer and Mary said, “Oh,” for she really did know her cousin better than anyone and could put the pieces together herself.

  “I see… But that doesn’t mean I agree with you!”

  Angela shot Mary a dirty look and then Mary kept talking.

  “If I was you I’d never leave the bedroom...”

  Angela gasped and pushed her cousin.

  “Well I wouldn’t!”

  Angela shook her head and then the two cousins linked arms, just as they had always done, and headed off towards the Wilson’s home to find Andrew.

  ***

  The door to the Wilson’s lodgings swung closed with such force that a painting fell from the wall and books tumbled from the shelf.

  “Damn it!” Andrew screamed as he kicked his leg at the painting and sent it flying across the room. It shattered into a million pieces and he laughed in frustration. Just like his heart; destroyed.

  He had poured out his heart to his wife, told her he loved her, and fully expected her to return the feelings. Yes, he knew that most married couples were not in love and never would be. That was just the nature of marriage right now. It was done for convenience or money or family prosperity but almost never for love. His marriage to Angela hadn’t been for any necessary reason. Had it? He supposed that it could have been somewhat for convenience as he had originally thought; Angela had a choice between him and the Duke and obviously she had chosen him. But they had been so close before they had married, drawn together by some unconscious force. Andrew was sure that his wife loved him! He had been absolutely positive but she had rejected him. His own wife had rejected him!

  He sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands.

  I know you understand.

  Yes he understood. He understood that she was afraid of love. He understood that she had spent her whole life being gawked at by everyone, loved for something she was not. But those had been strangers, people she did not know but had been aware of her entire life. They were blinded, made assumptions, and saw only what everyone told them they would see. But Andrew was not one of those men. Andrew hadn’t even known of her existence until he went to work at her father’s house, but from the day he met her he had treated her as nothing other than Angela. Even when he learned of her social status it hadn’t fazed him. He saw through everything she showed society and everything that had no truth at all.

  But she was still scared and guarded. Why? WHY? She had no reason to be. Not with him. Never with him. He loved her damn it and she should love him back! But she didn’t and now he was afraid that she never would. And so what was to become of his broken heart? Would it ever heal? Or would it stay this way forever? At this moment he didn’t know but if he had to make a choice he would say that his heart would never be the same again.

  He stood up and headed for the door. He only knew of one cure for situations like this: he was going to go to the pub and get drunk, absolutely stupidly sloshed. But when he threw the door open he knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

  Angela was standing there and Mary was with her.

  ***

  Andrew knew he was going to have to face his wife again sooner or later but he had not expected it to be this soon. He’d expected to have a few hours to think, aided by a strong brew, before he would have to come to terms with this situation, but now he had no time and no strong brew. Angela was home now and she was not alone.

  Mary. So Angela had been right, but that was not what was important right now. What exactly was Mary doing here? When Angela had first told him she had seen her beloved cousin and friend he automatically assumed that it had just been in her mind. Because of this Andrew had never stopped to ponder why, if Mary was here, exactly what the reason was. But she was here now and there was no more time to wonder why.

  “What are you doing here?” Andrew asked very frankly.

  “I thought I lived here,” was Angela’s sharp reply.

  “Not you…” He directed his gaze at Mary. “You.”

  “And how pleasant it is to see you too good cousin.” Mary crossed over the threshold and shoved Andrew out of her path. “Oh. I’m not assuming am I? You did wed my dear cousin when you took her away…did you not?”

  Andrew felt a rage building up inside of him, layering on top of his anger. He was already having enough trouble with his wife. He most certainly did not need this attitude from his wife’s cousin.

  “Of course I did you chit! What kind of…”

  “Oh shut your mouth. I know very well that you are married…”

  “Then why…”

  This time it was Angela who interrupted him. “Andrew, Mary is not here for a casual social visit. She’s brought news.”

  “And how does that concern me?”

  With that Angela stormed towards her husband, took him by the arm, and pulled him aside.

  “I know we just had a bit of a… disagreement earlier—”

  “Disagreement? Disagreement? You—”

  “Look here dear husband, Mary has come a long distance and at a great risk to bring you a message. I think you should listen to her and we can figure the rest of this out later.”

  “Oh. Later. Of course. I’m sure that whatever message Mary has brought is much more important than—”

  “Damn it all Andrew! They’re dead! The Earl of Dillard and his son!”

  And with that statement, Andrew’s entire world stood still. He had never had a family of his own but he had spent his entire life living with the Dillards and they were as close as he had ever come to a family…until Angela. He felt a sharp pang inside. All within a matter of hours he had lost every bit of family he had ever known. Andrew stumbled to a chair near the bed and clumsily lowered himself into it.

  “Dead. You’re sure now? How?” Andrew put his hand inside the collar of his shirt and pulled at it. The room had become suddenly hot.

  Mary diverted her eyes downward. “Yes. I’m sure. A messenger came to the Baron’s home looking for you and Angela’s father sent him away. But I ran downstairs and intercepted the message.” She paused and cleared her throat. “There was a carriage accident.”

  “I see. Is umm, is that all?” Andrew’s voice barely made it out of his throat.

&
nbsp; “Lady Dillard requests your presence at the funeral.”

  “What? Why?” This time no sound escaped his mouth.

  Mary shrugged her shoulders as if the answer was obvious. “Well you did spend most of your life in their household did you not?”

  Andrew shook his head.

  “I suppose she felt that it’s… only right,” and then she added softly, “The message was quite…personal, as if she considered you family.”

  “Family did she? Ha…” He put his head in his hands and ruffled his hair before looking up again. “But I suppose you’re right.”

  Andrew rose and made his away across the room. “We will go. Wife?” He reached out his hand and Angela took hold.

  What else could she do?

  ***

  As they readied to leave the next morning words flowed from Andrew’s lips.

  “You asked me once, why it is that I did not leave the Dillards when I had the chance.” He was sitting in his chair across the room from his wife, tall and straight, but he did not lift his eyes and grace her presence.

  “If my mother had not done what she did I most likely would have been born on some dirty street corner. Probably spent the rest of my life in an orphanage—if I even lived that long. You know I thought about it a lot, had plenty of chances. I tried to leave, more than once. I made it off the property several times all set to take off, ready for my freedom. But I never made it far.”

  “You were stopped?” She hadn’t meant to speak but it was too late now.

  “Yes, by myself.”

  He paused and she felt the tension of the air grow thicker as if a whole room of men were smoking big cigars. “I wasn’t watched or physically held. She probably would have freed me if I’d had the nerve to ask. I never did ask. But what I did do was think. Yes, I did a whole lot of that. But no. No matter how I thought about it, I just couldn’t wrap my brain around leaving.”

  Another pause.

  And then another as the energy grew.

  “My mother gave her life for me!”

  His voice was steadily growing stronger but with the last words there was a crack and they both winced, acknowledging the complication of its meaning.

  “I couldn’t turn my back on her like that. Nor Lady Dillard. Free or not she had treated me better than I ever could have expected. Like family. Maybe I had never said it out loud but I bound myself to them and I did not take that lightly.”